Jack McDonald dot Org

Welcome to the 21st Century. It’s a brave new world.

Me: ‘Hi, I’ve just tried to transfer some money and the online banking site says I need a card reader, what is that?
Natwest Call Center Idiot: ‘Oh that’s the new security measure, we sent you a letter about it before we sent one out to you’
Me: ‘Really? Did you read the note on my account saying I’m living abroad for a year before you sent both items to my old address?’
NI: ‘Uh, no.’

Me: ‘So how exactly do you expect me to be able to use a device I wasn’t informed of which is now lying around in my old house?’
NI: ‘Well we can send you a new one.’
Me: ‘How long will that take?’
NI: ‘Seven to ten working days.’
Me: ‘Seven to ten days? I need the card reader as soon as possible.’
NI: ‘I’m sorry sir, but it will take seven to ten days to send one to a UK address.’
Me: ‘And how long would it take to send one to, uhhh, Brazil, which is where I’m currently living?’
NI: ‘Oh that’s right, that’ll take 21 working days.’
Me: ‘Well, can you Fedex it please so I can actually use my bank account?’
NI: ‘You’d have to speak to a manager about that’
Me: ‘Can I speak to your manager?’
NI: ‘I’m afraid no managers are in today.’
Me: ‘Any form of supervisor or person who can actually do something?’
NI: ‘No, I’m afraid no-one like that is here today. Can I take your contact details?’
Me: ‘Yes (I give my address, which takes her about 10 minutes to get right)’
NI: ‘What is your phone number?’
Me: ‘I don’t have one, I am living abroad and my network doesn’t work out here.’
NI: ‘Oh I see. Well, one of our managers will be in touch with you on Monday.’
Me: ‘May I ask how?’
NI: ‘They’ll call you.’
Me: ‘They’ll call me on a telephone number that I do not have?’
NI: ‘Oh, um.’
Me: ‘Can you just send me an email?’
NI: ‘I’m afraid not sir, it’s to do with security.’